Why do we care so much about The Donald bickering with co-host of the View Rosie O’Donnell? Isn’t she just another comedian with something to say?

Not really, but when there’s nothing better in the news cycle (aside from the war in Iraq), reporters will go to great lengths to find something interesting to fill the void.

Marketing firms have a keen eye for these voids in the news cycle. If there’s no news it’s good news, at least if you’re trying to get your message out to the newspapers. Why release a news story if it’s just going to get lost in the wash? It’s a challenge to begin with to obtain press attention for any issue; there’s no reason you should have to compete for press coverage, especially if reporters are going to be looking for things to cover anyway.

If you’re looking into getting something published in a magazine it can be much easier if you are in a small field. To find out what a magazine is writing about in the upcoming months look for their editorial calendar; this is a list of topics that the magazine is taking submissions on for each month. Typically an editorial calendar will display the upcoming topics in a magazine for about six months-- sometimes even a year.

Public relations for anyone can be confusing and sometimes even a gamble but with trained professionals at your side you’ll almost always get your news covered. After all just look towards Trump himself, he knows exactly how to play the public relations game, doesn't it seem all too convenient that this event is still getting coverage just as season six of The Apprentice debuts? It’s not a coincidence, that’s why if you see an opportunity like this come your way, you shouldn’t let it pass you by; think like Trump and make sure you can stay in the news for as long as possible.

You’ve probably heard of the ubiquitous TV show Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy. On the show, children are forced to swap mothers and husbands must adjust to the Faustian contentions of a new “spouse”, often resulting in a resounding crescendo of disagreement and acrimony. What does this have to do with events you might ask? More than you can possibly imagine.

Often you have to rob Peter to pay Paul; in other words, you must ask one sponsor for one type of service and be adequately prepared to trade this service to another sponsor for what you actually want. An example of this would be asking a radio station for airtime and then turning around and selling that time to a retail store in exchange for sponsorship money. This is crucial to the success of any event: being flexible will help you get things done and in turn help you please your new mommy (the Goddess that is the event).

However, there is the alternative of not being cooperative and flexible with your new mommy. There will be a number of arguments as well as brothers and sisters (associate producers, publicists, hotel staff, exhibitors) getting in your face about what should be done. Without the proper sponsorship monies going to the correct places the end result can be summed up in one word: terrible. Letting the professionals deal with Mommy for you will save you time and aggravation, but expect to pay a steady commission in lieu of feeling the pain.

Good news is, professional event managers can often obtain additional sponsorship opportunities at far higher financial levels than you could negotiate on your own. It’s much like retaining a lawyer for a personal injury case—and just like lawyers, we can tango with Mommy and wind up still living and breathing on the other side. It’s like meeting the prototypical daddy, the only one that can keep Mommy and her charges, from exhibitors to registrants, in line.

Who’s your daddy? Well, we hope it’s CrowdConnect.

When you’re looking for advertising services, you don’t want a firm that offers only limited experience, bloats your costs like Santa’s belly or focuses on pretty pictures more than positioning and performance. To ensure the best fit for your business, follow these tips when you’re trying to find an agency:

1) Does the agency have experience in my field? (It never hurts to contact them and ask.)

2) Where are they located? (Sometimes cost of living at an agency can determine the rate of your deliverables.)

3) What is their per hour cost? (An agency might advertise one rate and charge another; make sure you’re getting what you actually need.)

4) Do they focus on just design? (Some mail houses and design firms pass themselves off as full-service agencies – just because they say they’re full-service doesn’t make it so. There is a difference between full-service and a design house; a full-service agency has experience in advertising, whereas design houses focus more on the artistic attributes of the work.)

5) What kind of contact can you expect from the agency? (Will you be provided with a dedicated account executive?)

6) Will you ever see the elusive founder of the agency again? (At most agencies you’ll get to see the founder once (when you hand him the check) and maybe not even that much; make sure you know that you can actually contact him if an issue arises.)

We had a client migrate to our firm that had a negative experience with a design house. When he wanted a series of mailers sent out, it was imperative they stand out from the cacophony of mail pieces sent to his prospects each day. The design house made something that looked nice failed to grab from the mailbox. We helped him achieve his goals and now his business is a success. Don’t let prospects throw away your hard-earned dollars with every handy toss of your marketing collateral into a trashcan, every click of the close button on a website or station change on the radio dial.

I’d be the last to say we’re the right agency for every business (especially if you manufacture tobacco or firearms), but with these tips in hand you should be more than able to steer away from an agency that’s dead wrong.

Time for a riddle: You own a trendy, sophisticated retail store that targets younger professional men of a certain taste. The kind of men that would rather resuscitate Condi than patronize (and be patronized by) “the mall”, would rather do time at Sing Sing than shop at a Wal*Mart and think a platinum Amex is just an intermediate step on the way to a Black Card (and maybe even an exotic black wife, but not Condi).

Competition abounds, and although a plurality of your products are proprietary or line exclusives, there’s a Nordstrom down the block where wives are buying very similar stuff for their husbands at very similar prices.

What do you do to continue attracting customers? The answer depends on who your customers are.

If they’re young adults living in a Prozac-and-Ritalin-laced world order, chances are they’re looking for something with more allure than a wallet crafted from rare Italian leather. More accurately, they’re looking for someone—someone that offers a warm alternative to an indifferent world. They’re looking for love: to feel it, to touch it, to take it.

As in, “I’ll take it!”: the siren cry of retaildom. Now you must simply capture that feeling and give it to them.

Love means different things to different people and at different points in their lives. Early on it means physical attraction, adherence to a never-ending list combining the untenable and the unattainable. It means calling the shots, following along or hanging on for the ride, depending on your physiological preferences.

Later, some of us wise up and find love in the one that’s willing to compromise, the one that listens and learns and takes your advice and inspires you to do the same; someone that wants to—has to—tell you the truth; someone that forces you to realize the things you thought mattered a lot, actually don’t matter that much at all. Not someone that always thinks the way you think—someone that makes you rethink the way you think.

There’s a reason this kind of love is most often found in film or contained within the pages of a novel: it’s hard, it’s rare and it defies all convention.

Paco Underhill wrote, “A chair says we care.” I say, get up off that chair and show your customer how much you care. It’s something he probably doesn’t see, hear or feel often enough in his normal life.

The time has passed when a pseudo-hug from a Hooters hostess will do. If she’s burdened, carry her bag back to the cash wrap. If he’s sweaty, offer him a glass of water.

Do anything you can to differentiate yourself from the Macy’s, from the Marshall’s, even from the Neiman Marcus.

Your customers, many of whom are single, divorced or unhappy in their couplings, will notice and respond by doing exactly what they do when they encounter love in real life:

1. Opening their wallets and spending boatloads of money
2. Returning constantly for a fix of feeling

Now, dip your feet in the waters of empathy and love thy customer. As long as one doesn’t propose to you (or actually buy you a boat), everything will be okay.

I remember the scandal, with all its vituporous penchant, just like it was yesterday. It’s cliché, but so was “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Witnessing it all on a 25” color TV during a frigid family vacation in Jamestown, RI, I had no other choice. It was the Clinton impeachment, or ice fishing.

Instead of watching the poor old men stick hooks in slimy fish, I watched the rich old men stick hooks in the slimy President. I fully supported Mr. Clinton and most of his administration, and maintained his sexual pillaging had little to no effect on his occupational competency. As for the motivation, I just figured he’s a horny bastard and isn’t the kind of man that will ever practice complete monogamy.

In other words, he couldn’t keep a commitment—at least to his family. Later, after I went off to college, I learned that Mr. Clinton was Attorney General of Arkansas when he first ran for Governor. Was he simply drawn to stardom, or did he honestly feel the executive branch and the most visible seat in the state would enhance his ability to make change?

Based on my readings and experience with other charismatic individuals, I’d venture that it was a little bit of both. Clinton, although he never started a business, is very entrepreneurial indeed. He managed to conjure something out of less than nothing, Houdini-like; in what may be the ultimate metamorphosis: moderate to Democrat, gay rights advocate to “Don’t ask, don’t tell," healthcare to workfare and back again.

He’s a star, and like any star, his heat burned the issues right off. Heat is what keeps us moving, always to something newer and better and fresher and more relevant. And heat attracts more heat: Lewinsky proved to have a hunger for notoriety herself.

This is a rather shallow, unbalanced diet, however; and that’s what we must watch out for in business. If you think no one knows you’re cheating (on a significant other, business partner, client, employee), think again. If you think stars never burn out, consider that nothing lasts forever—-even the sun will eventually lose its luminance. Remember that we meet all the same people on the way down as we did on the way up. Keep them happy. It’s good karma, and good business.

And if you think that associates will trust you to stand loyal to them after you haven’t to your lover, well—-maybe. But not everyone is Bill Clinton--some of us are Jim Bakker, or (shudder) Bob Packwood. If I were you, I wouldn’t try my luck.